Today, I got back my History Test result. I studied damn hard for it, but yet, all my efforts gone to waste. Sometimes, I really feel like giving up this course. I would want to be very frank about this. If not for the MOE contract, I don't think I will be able to pull through "this long", to the extent of coming to China and improve on my Chinese.
Though, I do not really know what I am lost about. But, I just feel that I don't seem to be "destined" to study this course. Probably, it's a bit too late for me to say all this. It is already my third year since I entered this course, Idid try to study hard for all my modules, but my results just don't show. I am really afraid that my teachers will reproach me for being lazy, for not studying hard, when I am already trying super hard. Luckily, this time round this History test only took up 20% of this whole module, if not, I might have to stay in China for another few more months to study and complete this whole module.
I try to persuade myself that I just need to work hard the next time round.This is what I have been doing so far, I can only pray hard for my next History Exam's results to be better. I will try hard at the same time too.
These few days, I am emotionally not well. Probably, my family and friends are not around so I started to feel a bit lonely. Especially during the late nights, when the lights are off and I lie on the bed, I feel very solemn, very alone. I know all my Poly friends are with me but still, I suppose all of us feel the "same", which is homesick. We did not cry together but still, I think we do feel the "same". Now, I can really understand what is "Homesick". Sometimes, I really wonder why I have to go through all this, is this for myself, for my future or for the sake of moulding my character? I have no answer, I will keep searching and searching...for my answer...
Sorry for the grammatical errors..My English sux.. :)
Love & Hugs, Jin......
i blogged @
8:08 am
Music Video
The Lyrics
Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
and it was all in vain
Time starts to pass before
you know it you're frozen
Oh, but something happened
for the very first time with you
My heart was melted to the ground
found something true
And everyone's looking round
thinking I'm going crazy, baby
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
I keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
Trying hard not to hear
but they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill
my ears try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal is to
keep me from falling (Ohh...)
Oh, but nothing's greater than
the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me thinks
that I'm going crazy (Crazy) maybe (Maybe)
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
I keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
'Cause I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
Oh, you cut me open and I
I keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
Oh you cut me open and I
I keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
My Profile
Name: Chen Pei Jin
Age: 21
Birthday: 18th June 1987
Favourite Animal: Dog
Favourite Song: It's up there!
Favourite Movie: None..
Favourite Marine Life: Dolphins
My Wishlist
1st: Turn back time and bring her back..
2nd: All friends and family to be happy & healthy..
3rd: See real dolphins...at least once.. :)
